I know I’ve used this phrase a few times in my blog posts before, but today friends I really needed this reminder to check myself, because unfortunately I was wrecking myself and also causing unnecessary stress and tension with others.
Beware of the sneaky seeds that Satan tries to plant within you.
seeds of doubt.
seeds of uncertainty.
seeds of fear
seeds of judgement/comparison
seeds of rejection.
The list goes on and on.
A few nights ago, it just seemed that things were not going according to my plan so I kept having to go back to the drawing board on how to get done what I needed to do.
Where I thought I was on the right track, but things kept popping up that were not what I wanted and caused major friction and frustration.
Ugh. We all have days like this, I know, it is just hard to put on a smile and pretend you aren’t irritated when you are.
So I met up with my moms fitness group and I was frustrated and annoyed already, but then my toddler decided that she wanted all the snacks.
As in she would help herself to other kid’s snacks. Going in bags and getting out snacks and taking them to the nearest adult to open for her (insert covering eyes emoji here)
Ahhh, I was so annoyed and mortified. The other moms assured me they didn’t care and they didn’t mind sharing snacks, and from that I felt pressured to give in into letting her grab other kid’s snacks.
I didn’t check myself and my attitude ruined my experience.
Our attitudes influence our experience.
The same thing happened this past weekend when we decided to take a road trip spur of the moment, and I had a sour attitude from the start.
Thankfully God used a moose to pull me out of my funk, but it definitely caused unnecessary frustration and friction.
But enough about that, let me get to the main point of this post, how to check yourself:
- Check your heart (worry, fear, doubt)
- Check your head (thoughts of performance, approval, comparison)
- Check your hindsight (God’s faithfulness, your “testimony”)
Check Your Heart:
This one seems self-explanatory , but I will caution you that those seeds satan attempts to plant that I mentioned above show up in our thoughts when we least expect it.
The problem with letting our attitude go unnoticed is that is affects everyone around us, and today my frustration with a small matter, turned into irritation at my daughter, which manifested in my lack of patience with her (demonstrated by my behavior towards her) Yikes!
And to add fuel to the fire, I was around other moms and I firmly believe satan loves to attack how you choose to parent your kids based on feeling and fearing judgement from other moms.
But to check your heart is to bring yourself back down to the moment and check your true motive.
Some questions to ask yourselves to check your heart:
- Why are you doing what you’re doing?
- What is the current trigger?
- How is your current heart condition preventing you from being like Jesus?
Some scriptures to check your heart:
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it. Proverbs 4:23
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of. Luke 6:45
Check Your Head:
In my example with my daughter, I acted from this place of comparison and fear of judgement. I was worried what the other moms would think of me if I my daughter kept doing what she doing, or that I wasn’t trying to stop her from doing it.
What some moms might not mind or allow their children to do, I want to try to redirect my daughter’s behavior so that she learns that she can’t just do what she wants (she is only 2.5, but I firmly believe that to allow her to have her way now all the time will just make things harder in the long run.)
When you are checking what is going on in your head it often requires acknowledging that we are overly concerned about what it going on in other people’s minds too.
Some questions to ask yourself to check your head:
- Are you more concerned with heart condition or outward behavior?
- Are you feeling “under the microscope” at the moment?
- Are you using any “should” statements in your narrative? If so, what are they?
Some scriptures to check your head:
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Philippians 4:8
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5
Check Your Hindsight:
This one really got to me, as I was asked to share my story the same day that these inconveniences were going on.
I started talking about my upbringing and how my life look before Jesus and after Jesus and it brought me back to that place.
That place of brokenness and emptiness that I was at in my life.
The feeling and response of accepting Jesus in my life, and my life outlook and perspective completely being transformed as a result.
I can’t quite put my finger on the reason that relieving my testimony is so powerful to me, maybe because even though I felt like a big ball of mess I remember how far I’ve come and who has carried me through.
The power of recalling God’s faithfulness is that we aren’t the hero in the story, He is.
Some questions to ask yourself to check your hindsight:
- Recall a time in your life where you witnessed and experienced God’s faithfulness. What was that time like?
- How have you changed as a result of having a relationship with Jesus?
- How has your life changed as a result of having a relationship with Jesus?
Some scriptures to check your hindsight:
When you were slaves to sin, you were free from the control of righteousness. What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in[a] Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 6:20-23
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Isaiah 43:18-19
Sweet friends, our attitudes are shaped so strongly by our expectations, and even more so by anticipated events. I encourage you to spend some time thinking (or even listing out) those expectations to see if the source of your friction or frustration is coming from an unmet or unfilled expectation.
Our attitude is our choice, so let’s choose to have a positive one!
Stephanie Miller is an author, speaker and personal and spiritual growth coach who is currently living in the beautiful state of Colorado. She is the wife of a busy dentist and mom to a strong-willed two year-old girl and sweet baby boy. She enjoys going on hiking adventures with her family.
Her coaching ministry, Butterfly Beginnings specializes in helping those who are “spiritually stuck” by catalyzing change through connection with the Holy Spirit. She seeks to encourage women and challenge them to grow closer to God and in community with each other. She is a co-author of the devotional “I am Enough in Christ” and her book, “The Butterfly Blueprint: How to Renew Your Mind and Grow Your Faith” will be released this fall. Connect with her at: