Do you want to move from codependency to Christ?
Do you rely on others for your own happiness, satisfaction or purpose?
Personally, I’m aware that in the past I have been guilty of this. Though, due to the NCS (Neurocardiogenic Syncope) I do have to rely on others for their help but don’t like to or tend to ask for help very often.
The thing is, if we need help, it is actually OK to ask for help and we should. (Don’t worry, I will try to practise what I’m preaching!)
But it is when we rely on others to meet our emotional needs, which is when we might start to travel down that slippery slope of codependency.
What is codependency?
Defining codependency into a short paragraph is a tricky one. But after reading ‘Codependent no more’ a few times, codependency is about others and their needs being our “purpose” despite it not being good for us or making us unhappy, but as long as that person is getting what they want. (There is nothing wrong with putting others first- it says in the bible to love your neighbour and help others.) But it is when doing so jeopardises your own health or boundaries which is when codependency may be a problem.
Codependency can also be about, relying on others for our own happiness and fulfilment; be it through their love, attention, presence, their responses to us or simply just having someone around.
There are other examples and behaviours of codependency too but these are a few of the main ones.
But what does the bible say about this?
Psalm 118 tells us about unhealthy relationships, how to deal with these and where to find the right kind of love, in the right places- His love & in His place and how we can put Him first instead.
Codependency to Christ
Verse 1 instantly tells us that it is God’s love for us that will last forever and we can thank and be grateful to Him for that. Verse 2 reiterates this another 3 times! So it’s clear that we need to recognise and know that He loves us and will do for eternity. That’s more important than anything else.
There may be times when we are struggling. Times where other people might feel or are a threat to us. Verse 5 reminds us that God is with us and can help us and will triumph over ALL our enemies.
Then verse 8 tells us to trust Him over any humans then through to verse 12 we are reminded that though we may be swarmed by our enemies, in His name we can overcome them and cut them down.
This means that He WILL help us. We need to keep our focus on Him and stick to Him, trusting Him in everything including His timing and through this He can be our strength.
Despite what our life circumstances or situations are like we are told to praise Him and give Him our thanks (Verses 15, 21, 24, 28) and He won’t give up on us and hand us over to death (verse 18 & 19). This means we have eternity with Him.
I’m not saying it’s going to be easy to break from codependent tendencies. But with prayer, praise and looking to God, He can guide us away from these, help us to set healthy boundaries and build better relationships with others, helping us turn from codependency to Christ. But first:
Matthew 6:33 Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
Please do comment below with your thoughts, or your own story from codependency and if you have anything to add that might be helpful to others.