What is Emotional Intelligence?
In a nutshell, Emotional Intelligence is about having the ability to recognise emotions and knowing what to expect when specific emotions occur. It’s also about developing awareness of what can trigger these emotions too. For instance; if someone “cuts you up” on the road, does that make you angry? Or if your to- do list piles up, do you become overwhelmed?
Becoming Emotionally Intelligent
1st Step: Recognising emotions. Do you even know how you feel most of the time? Check out the picture below. What are you feeling right now?
By asking yourself this regularly you can learn to recognise what emotions are and how they are for you. This is important as it takes us to the next step.
2nd Step: This is about recognising how you, as an individual, responds to each emotion. You can know this by asking yourself the following questions:
- What am I mostly thinking about right now?
- Do those thoughts make me feel better or worse?
- What behaviours or actions does this emotion lead me to? E.g withdrawing from others, substances, aggression, productivity, laughter.
- Do these behaviours make me feel better or worse?
This takes us to the…
3rd Step: The trigger. What was the initial situation or experience that triggered the emotion in the first place?
For instance; Was it something someone said? A mistake you made? Did something happen to you that was out of your control? An accident or an illness?
It is useful to begin to recognise the triggers to your emotions and then you can become aware of your emotions and what to expect. This then gives you back the control and you can begin to learn how to deal with them better when they arise.
Jump over to my private facebook group for the ‘live event video replay’ (begins at 2.50 mark) for more on thoughts and emotions and how to recognise the effects they have on your life. We also discuss what ‘fixed’ and ‘growth’ mindsets are and there is an opportunity to take part in a mindset assessment.
This video is also an intro session to the ‘Mastering Mindsets’ group coaching session. Where I will talk more in depth on this topic and how we can overcome toxic emotions & behaviours. Check HERE for further info.